Mercy and Healing

I thank God for His limitless mercy and healing. I had a crush on a guy for almost nine months. The crush initiated quite on accident and steadily grew. I didn't want to give my heart to the boy, so every time I encountered him I would give my heart to God. As my crush grew, so did my relationship with God. I didn't tell the boy I had a crush on him, because I believe it is the guy's job to pursue not the girls. He is a good Christian guy and inhabited quite a few traits of what I want in my future husband, however God knew he was not the one for me. My crush was at church camp, and I was stuck at summer school. I felt God tell me to relinquish my crush and give up on him completely. I didn't understand at all. Because of this crush, I had gotten closer to God, why was I being asked to give it up? So after arguing (more like whining) with God for a day, I finally started the healing process. I must say, a well developed crush is a mind game. It took me three days to completely get over my crush, but when those days were finished, I was completely healed. The Friday when he got back from camp, he called me. Apparently he was going to call me the week before he left, but getting ready for camp made him forget ( I think that was a God timing in all actuality). He told me flat out He didn't like me the same way. I was fine, but shocked he knew since I never told him. Apparently I am an open book, and he discovered only two months after it had developed. Our youth director had asked him when he was going to ask me out, his reply was he hadn't thought about it. Some of the girls knew my "secret" and decided it was in "my best interest" to give him a push to admit his mutual like for me (not cool, never try to play matchmaker, it is not good for anyone involved). Now I wish I never admitted it to them. We are still friends and can remain as such because I no longer have any sort of romantic tie at all. In fact, my best friend can date him for all I care... oh wait, she is. :P Reflecting on the situation, I do not regret having the crush for it brought me closer to God. I do wish the girls that knew would not have done anything to push it in any direction, but I am not in control of their actions. I thank God for what he gives to me and what He takes away. If He had not given me time to mentally heal, I would have been devastated.